Staying on the unit was a safe place...a place to start healing...to start learning more about myself and my depression/anxiety. The staff there was wonderful and I learned some of the most profound wisdom from one of the nurses on the unit. I'll be forever thankful to him for his advice about differing opinions.
This week will be my last in the partial program and it causes a little stress and anxiety. I'll miss my "family" of people I've come to know in the program. This is the best program I've ever been too. The staff has set me up with a psychiatrist (who treated me in the unit), has made sure I'm still going to my therapist, and gave me information on support groups in my area. Both they, and my therapist, have strongly suggested a support group is crucial in my continued path to wellness.
I attended my first group for DBSA last Tuesday, and felt the same feeling of belonging and understanding I get from my group in the program. I'm planning on attending each week so I can be with people who are going through, and understand what depression is like. I'm going to see if I can get my wonderful husband to attend the monthly lectures they have from various people in the mental health field so he gains even more understanding of my illness. He's been so supportive of me throughout this entire ordeal, I can honestly say he's played a crucial role in helping me make it through.
So...what am I doing different now than before I went into the unit (besides having my medications tweaked). Believe it or not different breathing techniques have helped me tremendously....especially with my anxiety. Using my senses when I'm sitting on the porch for a smoke, instead of staying in my head. Like this morning I smiled as a monarch butterfly played among my dinner plate hibiscus. It's been over a month now since I've watched the news and all its negativity. Now I find what I want to watch and DVR it to watch at a later time. I'm listening to much more music I've downloaded to my Zune. I've gotten out of the petty, negative political debates going on....they're not worth the frustration and anger....it's become so petty and contrite. I feel my voice will be heard during election time..so I chose to step away from the radicals on both sides.
I'll admit I'm a Facebook junkie, but have chosen to step away from the negative folks I had befriended. I have a small circle of friends now, and that's okay with me. I've found myself friending a lot of my wonderful husband's friends. He hangs out with some of the most caring, friendly people from all over the world. Reading their posts seems to always bring a smile to my face. They're positive people, not "negative Nellie's and Ned's".
I'm able to go see Pappie in re-hab now because I know how happy it makes him....and me too now. He's said some of the sweetest, loving comments to me. He means the world to me and if I start feeling a bit sad or down I'll think of something he's said and smile. I also have Amaya stories my mom and daughter share with me. Even typing these last two sentences has put a smile on my face. I've restored my relationship with my daughter, which makes me very happy. I've learned to set my own personal boundaries (for myself) when it comes to her and I. It's better for both of us.
In short, I'm taking back control of my life. It's work to live with depression, but the rewards are far greater when you really work at it. Seeing a family physician to doll out pills just isn't going to cut it, no matter who you are. It takes the combination of a pychciatrist (who specializes in mental health), a therapist, and (for some) a partial program or at least a support group. I've stepped up to the plate with the intent of managing my depression/anxiety instead of it managing me.....
2 comments:
xoxox
{{hugs}}
I'm proud of you, my love. :-)
Way to go on taking responsibility for your mental health, and thank you for the reminder to breathe. I've learned all that and I never use it although when I do it really helps.
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